Narcissism #1 – Why talk about it?

Table of Contents

This is part of a four post series. The topics are as followed

Why I decided to speak about it.

Today, I am going to talk about Narcissism. This may not be a fun topic for some, and I am sure some of you may stop reading this pretty quickly. Especially if you don’t like conflict or want to know how terrible people in this world can be. I do think it is worth talking about. Not just talking about what Narcissists do, but also the terrible cruelty they inflict on others. Since I am not a psychiatrist, obviously take everything I say with a grain of salt. On the other hand, it means I am free to make assumptions from the many stories I have heard over and over from others.

Recently, without going into details because it isn’t my story to tell…there are a “couple” of people dealing with various things related to what I am about to talk about here. The sad irony of it all is that nothing they have described or talked about is shocking at this point in my life. It is a recurring and familiar theme that a lot of people go through, and a lot of people are completely unaware and naive, and many just don’t want to face or know. Most people are unaware of the gravity of the situation till it is too late even when they are in it.

Recurring familiar and painful stories

I am lucky enough to have never had one in my personal life(rather had one directed at me). Everything I talk about when it comes to someone’s personal life, it is not part of my story but what I have heard from others. However, I now realize that most of the problems I have had in my career were a result of dealing with people like this. I have heard descriptions from others, I have heard recordings dealing with said partner. A lot of what people have dealt with in their life I realized I have dealt with in my career to a much less severe degree. It is ironic that a lot of what they talk about brings to mind specific people from my past. Regardless of what others think of me, I will always try to do the right thing. Those said coworkers that I described above? Not that I would do anything(nor care about them at this point), but let’s just say there is absolutely no tragedy that could happen in their life where I wouldn’t think “Well…that is just Karma.”

I still remember the first time I heard about it and someone described their experience. It was when I was going through my divorce, though mine was extremely civil and easy. Two others close to me where going through a divorce as well. They both had terrible stories, and at the time I thought insane. I remember thinking about “How could someone act like that to these two people???” There was no logic behind what they did. It was the first time I heard a story of someone who simply enjoyed making someone else’s life miserable. I just thought it was “bad luck” with the person that they married. Unfortunately, there is a lot more to it.

People should talk about it more

The reason why I am going to talk is for two reasons. First, this is not personal to me. Just about everyone who can talk about it has a personal story…which means there is someone out there to tell them “Well, did you do <blank>?” or “You must have done <blank>.” or “It can’t be that bad.”. Second, just about every single one had 0 idea of who they were dealing with and the capacity of cruelty they can inflict until it is too late. People sometimes come out of a relationship questioning their ability to judge a person’s character going forward.

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